On Weddings, and the life thereafter

I wrote this earlier today then lost my connection and was not able to post

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WOW! I don't blog enough! Three months since my last update. I am married now as of 16 days ago and loving every minute of it. My wedding was PERFECT and made so by all the people I love who were there supporting me every step of the way.

It's strange, the feeling of comfort, sustainability and consistency. A good kind of strange. I know I am being taken care of, and that he is always going to be there no matter what we go through. He is a righteous Godly man who loves me and loves his God. Everything he does he thinks of me before he does it. I am important to him, AND I LOVE IT!! I cook and clean and make the home comfortable for him, AND I LOVE THAT TOO!! In just two weeks and a couple days I have learned more about him AND more about myself than I ever knew. It's Amazing!

I am going to attend a wedding of a friend from school today. I used to go to weddings feeling anxious and a tiny twinge of jealousy. I wanted to be the one in that white dress making a promise for forever. I was always excited for my friends getting married, but my thoughts wandered off to the future. My mind was on my who when and where. Even when I finally discovered the who the when was always haunting me. I wanted to be his wife so badly, but I knew I had to be patient and wait for the right time...for Gods time!

Now that I have said my vows and began my life with my amazing husband I am going to this wedding 100% joyful and praising God for his goodness. I am so excited for my friend as it will be her turn to wear the white dress and make a forever promise. I am not distracted by feelings of jealousy but rather I am thinking about all the emotions rushing through her head right now. About the adjustment she will be going through (as I am still going through it). About the awkward next couple of days which will be spent learning each others living habits. About how HAPPY they are and are going to be despite what life throws them. I know I am no pro when it comes to married life...Not even close...We're practically still honeymooning. But its a wonder to see this from a different perspective, from this side of the veil, from (barely) experienced eyes. All my best to her and her very soon-to-be husband. I wish them all the best and as much joy, blessings, love happiness as I would wish for my own young marriage

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It was absolutely beautiful and I am so happy for her. I know that she and her husband are going to be so happy and with the support they have behind them in the form of their family and close friends and more importantly their faith in their Savior Jesus Christ as the foundation, they are going to be forever in each other arms and in the deepest kind of love only The True God can give.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!

The Desires of My Heart

I desire with all my heart to serve my God in whatever capacity He has planned for me.

I desire with everything in me to spend one wonderful lifetime in the arms of my beloved, forever in love and cherishing the miracle God has given me.

I desire so much to be back in the country that my heart breaks for, with the people I have fallen in love with.

I desire 'til the end of my days to make an impact, even if my name is not given credit.

I desire with all my being to keep in touch with and continue to love my family who has shaped me into who I am today.

I desire strongly to become a wise old woman who can teach and train the following generations, and give them the same desires I have been given.

I desire that others may see my desires and let that become my identity. That I may be known by the good I am capable of, not the bad that I unfortunately commit more often.

I desire that the desires of my heart be met and I may live live to fullest as defined by my walk and relationship with my Creator, Savior, Jesus Christ!

To Love, and Be Loved!

To feel those strong warm arms wrap around me and make me feel as if the world cannot harm me
To look into those deep eyes and read everything he is feeling for me
To read the note written by his hand, expressing all the love he holds in his heart for me
To hear that voice that makes my heart jump when he speaks just a word to me
To know that, though the distance is far, his love stretches and fills the void from him to me

I love him more than words can express, and though it's far, and we have to wait so long, his affection is ever with me and all I can do is dream of his face and wait for the day I see him again!

Be Still

Tuesday afternoon my Grandpa passed away, somewhat unexpectedly. His diabetes had gotten pretty bad, but no one really knew it was his time yet. I wish I could say he was in a better place, and that he was out of misery but unfortunately he’s not. My grandpa did not believe in Christ. In fact he was a devout atheist and figured all Christians, including his own children or grandchildren, were a bunch of wacko crazies. I have been thinking about this a lot in the past couple of days. I didn’t really know him well. He was family and I loved him, but I never got a chance to really get close to him. He was always angry at life and the world. I didn’t even cry when I heard he was dead. I was shocked, but no tears. Then my dad mentioned the whole unsaved thing, and that’s when I started to get a bit choked up. How miserable must he be right now? How badly he must be wishing he had listened to his Christian children. Eternal separation from God is a scary thought, and an unhappy end. My Grandma Betty (his ex wife) is saved and I can rest knowing that when she leaves us, she will be running into the hands of her beloved savior. But my Grandma Mary, the wife he left behind, is still unsaved. Will she ever come to know the love of Christ? Will she find comfort in this tragedy through the temporary things of this world, or the everlasting love of our Savior? And what about the rest of my unsaved aunts and uncles? Will they find their peace in God?

A new song we learned in Choir today brought me so much peace…I cant explain how it worked but it really just reminded me that God is in control of this whole situation. He knows how my Dad feels right now. He knows how the rest of my dad’s siblings feel. He knows how Grandma Mary feels. And He can put me at peace to know that though my Grandpa resisted and will be gone forever, some good can come from this...God is in control, and He knows what He is doing.

Be still, and know I am God. Psalm 46:10


BE STILL
Hide me now under your wings.
Cover me within your Mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Find rest, my soul, in Christ alone.
Know His power, in quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Jan 20, 2009

How fitting, that the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day, our country will inaugurate our first black President. While I didn't personally vote for him, he is now my leader and as Paul encouraged the early church to honor their King (who was far more corrupt than any leader our country has ever had), I will honor my leader, and think of the historical step we are about to take. I've heard it said many times by many different people since November 4th, "From property to President." A people who were once taken captive, enslaved, and treated like animals, are now basking in the glory of having ALL of the same rights and abilities as anyone else in this country.

Let us now, instead of condemning President Barack Obama, pray for him. Pray that the Christian roots that are somewhere in him will take over. Pray that he will see the evil in killing the innocent unborn. Pray that he will see the sanctity of Biblical marriage. Pray that this will turn into a major blessing for the church and that he may bring glory to God through all he does. He has the weight of an entire country on his shoulders now, and that cannot be an easy place for anyone to be. Dr. King said in his famous speech, "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.." Pray that President Obama's character is one that can be judged as glorifying and honoring to the Christian life. For someone who claims the title Christian, pray that he begins to live the life he claims. And pray that his wife and children follow suit. That as for President Obama and his house, they will serve the Lord. And for the next four years, (and the four after that if it be the case) don't cease praying. President Obama needs this. Our country needs this. Start now, and don't stop...

Christmas Eve randomness

Well...finals were done about a week ago, and the results are in. One C, a B+ and everything else is A's...I cant believe I got that C...I worked so hard on that class, I'll have to see what the grade on the final project itself was. I worked so hard on that and I hope that was not my reason for the low grade.

Anyway, Christmas break is going super great. I am currently sitting on the couch at my boyfriend's parent's house doing absolutely nothing (which is a good thing btw), while he is out walking the dog with his dad and brother-in-law. Its nice to relax and not have a whole lot to do. No homework, no housework, no work, no where to be. Great feeling. It'll be over all to soon though on Jan 7th when classes start back up. But here's the wierd thing to think about...Four more months of my bachelors degree...SO WEIRD!!

We did some Christmas stuff today. We opened presents with the whole family today, since it would just be me, Jonny and his parents tomorrow. We saved some gifts for tomorrow, but most were done today. I've never done gifts on Christmas Eve so it was different, but fun! I'm making breakfast tomorrow morning, my family's tradition of blueberry muffins with this awesome cream cheese spread that my dad always makes. He gave me the recepie. I just had to have my muffins or it wouldn't be Christmas.

well...thats enough randomness for now I guess, don't wanna make you read too much.

Merry CHRISTmas everyone! I hope its a great day, but most of all I hope you know the true reason for why we celebrate. Keep CHRIST in your celebrations as you share the day with your families