In His Hands

Headache update

2011-09-01T00:00:00.001-07:00

I went to a headache class provided by Kaiser today. I learned some of the triggers of headaches and ways to prevent and treat headaches without medication. I gotta go get some salonpas and peppermint oil and see if those work for me. All I know it those salonpas smell like the best piece of mint gum ever. If I didn’t know what it was I might have popped it in my mouth right then. lol And the peppermint oil seems like a good idea too. I have chewed gum in the past to help provide some headache relief, but the act of moving my jaw sometimes contributes to the headache. The peppermint oil goes right in the nose to help cool and loosen muscles and relax everything in the head and face region. I’ll have to give it a try. We were also given a list of foods to avoid and use with caution that may also be triggers of headaches. There are some things on that list I didn’t expect. Aged cheeses are on the avoid list while milk is actually fine. ALL nuts are on the avoid list (dang). And MSG is only of the precautionary list, not avoidable all together.

This class was the prerequisite to having an appointment with the neurologist. I will get a call in the next few days to schedule an appointment with the neurologist. She will help me discover the specific triggers I have and find a combination of behavioral, cognitive, medicinal and topical treatments to better manage and deal with my headaches. I of course need to be realistic and realize that not all headaches will be eliminated but reducing the frequency and severity will be the key focus.

Gone (hopefully) are the days of puking my guts out at work and having vacations interrupted by migraines. I’m glad I called patient services and went to see Mr. Hicks (a PA that works in Colton). My primary physician was a major tool and told me “there’s no known cause to migraines and all we can do is give you medicine to help you manage the pain.” Apparently this guy needs to go back to med school and shred his M.D. from Doctors-R-Us. Thank you Mr. Hicks for having more brains and experience than that so called Doctor.

I'm baaaaaaack!

2011-08-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

I have iPhone access to my blog now so I will try to edit more often. I appologise for being so absent. I don't have long right now but I will post an update of my life soon.

On Weddings, and the life thereafter

2009-11-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

I wrote this earlier today then lost my connection and was not able to post

*****************************************************

WOW! I don't blog enough! Three months since my last update. I am married now as of 16 days ago and loving every minute of it. My wedding was PERFECT and made so by all the people I love who were there supporting me every step of the way.

It's strange, the feeling of comfort, sustainability and consistency. A good kind of strange. I know I am being taken care of, and that he is always going to be there no matter what we go through. He is a righteous Godly man who loves me and loves his God. Everything he does he thinks of me before he does it. I am important to him, AND I LOVE IT!! I cook and clean and make the home comfortable for him, AND I LOVE THAT TOO!! In just two weeks and a couple days I have learned more about him AND more about myself than I ever knew. It's Amazing!

I am going to attend a wedding of a friend from school today. I used to go to weddings feeling anxious and a tiny twinge of jealousy. I wanted to be the one in that white dress making a promise for forever. I was always excited for my friends getting married, but my thoughts wandered off to the future. My mind was on my who when and where. Even when I finally discovered the who the when was always haunting me. I wanted to be his wife so badly, but I knew I had to be patient and wait for the right time...for Gods time!

Now that I have said my vows and began my life with my amazing husband I am going to this wedding 100% joyful and praising God for his goodness. I am so excited for my friend as it will be her turn to wear the white dress and make a forever promise. I am not distracted by feelings of jealousy but rather I am thinking about all the emotions rushing through her head right now. About the adjustment she will be going through (as I am still going through it). About the awkward next couple of days which will be spent learning each others living habits. About how HAPPY they are and are going to be despite what life throws them. I know I am no pro when it comes to married life...Not even close...We're practically still honeymooning. But its a wonder to see this from a different perspective, from this side of the veil, from (barely) experienced eyes. All my best to her and her very soon-to-be husband. I wish them all the best and as much joy, blessings, love happiness as I would wish for my own young marriage

*************EDIT****************

It was absolutely beautiful and I am so happy for her. I know that she and her husband are going to be so happy and with the support they have behind them in the form of their family and close friends and more importantly their faith in their Savior Jesus Christ as the foundation, they are going to be forever in each other arms and in the deepest kind of love only The True God can give.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!

2009-07-27T09:30:00.001-07:00

The Desires of My Heart

2009-02-26T11:09:00.001-08:00

I desire with all my heart to serve my God in whatever capacity He has planned for me.

I desire with everything in me to spend one wonderful lifetime in the arms of my beloved, forever in love and cherishing the miracle God has given me.

I desire so much to be back in the country that my heart breaks for, with the people I have fallen in love with.

I desire 'til the end of my days to make an impact, even if my name is not given credit.

I desire with all my being to keep in touch with and continue to love my family who has shaped me into who I am today.

I desire strongly to become a wise old woman who can teach and train the following generations, and give them the same desires I have been given.

I desire that others may see my desires and let that become my identity. That I may be known by the good I am capable of, not the bad that I unfortunately commit more often.

I desire that the desires of my heart be met and I may live live to fullest as defined by my walk and relationship with my Creator, Savior, Jesus Christ!

To Love, and Be Loved!

2009-02-25T15:25:00.000-08:00

To feel those strong warm arms wrap around me and make me feel as if the world cannot harm me
To look into those deep eyes and read everything he is feeling for me
To read the note written by his hand, expressing all the love he holds in his heart for me
To hear that voice that makes my heart jump when he speaks just a word to me
To know that, though the distance is far, his love stretches and fills the void from him to me

I love him more than words can express, and though it's far, and we have to wait so long, his affection is ever with me and all I can do is dream of his face and wait for the day I see him again!

Be Still

2009-02-05T20:31:00.001-08:00

Tuesday afternoon my Grandpa passed away, somewhat unexpectedly. His diabetes had gotten pretty bad, but no one really knew it was his time yet. I wish I could say he was in a better place, and that he was out of misery but unfortunately he’s not. My grandpa did not believe in Christ. In fact he was a devout atheist and figured all Christians, including his own children or grandchildren, were a bunch of wacko crazies. I have been thinking about this a lot in the past couple of days. I didn’t really know him well. He was family and I loved him, but I never got a chance to really get close to him. He was always angry at life and the world. I didn’t even cry when I heard he was dead. I was shocked, but no tears. Then my dad mentioned the whole unsaved thing, and that’s when I started to get a bit choked up. How miserable must he be right now? How badly he must be wishing he had listened to his Christian children. Eternal separation from God is a scary thought, and an unhappy end. My Grandma Betty (his ex wife) is saved and I can rest knowing that when she leaves us, she will be running into the hands of her beloved savior. But my Grandma Mary, the wife he left behind, is still unsaved. Will she ever come to know the love of Christ? Will she find comfort in this tragedy through the temporary things of this world, or the everlasting love of our Savior? And what about the rest of my unsaved aunts and uncles? Will they find their peace in God?

A new song we learned in Choir today brought me so much peace…I cant explain how it worked but it really just reminded me that God is in control of this whole situation. He knows how my Dad feels right now. He knows how the rest of my dad’s siblings feel. He knows how Grandma Mary feels. And He can put me at peace to know that though my Grandpa resisted and will be gone forever, some good can come from this...God is in control, and He knows what He is doing.

Be still, and know I am God. Psalm 46:10

BE STILL
Hide me now under your wings.
Cover me within your Mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Find rest, my soul, in Christ alone.
Know His power, in quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Jan 20, 2009

2009-01-19T20:05:00.001-08:00

How fitting, that the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day, our country will inaugurate our first black President. While I didn't personally vote for him, he is now my leader and as Paul encouraged the early church to honor their King (who was far more corrupt than any leader our country has ever had), I will honor my leader, and think of the historical step we are about to take. I've heard it said many times by many different people since November 4th, "From property to President." A people who were once taken captive, enslaved, and treated like animals, are now basking in the glory of having ALL of the same rights and abilities as anyone else in this country.

Let us now, instead of condemning President Barack Obama, pray for him. Pray that the Christian roots that are somewhere in him will take over. Pray that he will see the evil in killing the innocent unborn. Pray that he will see the sanctity of Biblical marriage. Pray that this will turn into a major blessing for the church and that he may bring glory to God through all he does. He has the weight of an entire country on his shoulders now, and that cannot be an easy place for anyone to be. Dr. King said in his famous speech, "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.." Pray that President Obama's character is one that can be judged as glorifying and honoring to the Christian life. For someone who claims the title Christian, pray that he begins to live the life he claims. And pray that his wife and children follow suit. That as for President Obama and his house, they will serve the Lord. And for the next four years, (and the four after that if it be the case) don't cease praying. President Obama needs this. Our country needs this. Start now, and don't stop...

Christmas Eve randomness

2008-12-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

Well...finals were done about a week ago, and the results are in. One C, a B+ and everything else is A's...I cant believe I got that C...I worked so hard on that class, I'll have to see what the grade on the final project itself was. I worked so hard on that and I hope that was not my reason for the low grade.

Anyway, Christmas break is going super great. I am currently sitting on the couch at my boyfriend's parent's house doing absolutely nothing (which is a good thing btw), while he is out walking the dog with his dad and brother-in-law. Its nice to relax and not have a whole lot to do. No homework, no housework, no work, no where to be. Great feeling. It'll be over all to soon though on Jan 7th when classes start back up. But here's the wierd thing to think about...Four more months of my bachelors degree...SO WEIRD!!

We did some Christmas stuff today. We opened presents with the whole family today, since it would just be me, Jonny and his parents tomorrow. We saved some gifts for tomorrow, but most were done today. I've never done gifts on Christmas Eve so it was different, but fun! I'm making breakfast tomorrow morning, my family's tradition of blueberry muffins with this awesome cream cheese spread that my dad always makes. He gave me the recepie. I just had to have my muffins or it wouldn't be Christmas.

well...thats enough randomness for now I guess, don't wanna make you read too much.

Merry CHRISTmas everyone! I hope its a great day, but most of all I hope you know the true reason for why we celebrate. Keep CHRIST in your celebrations as you share the day with your families

It's finals week...

2008-12-14T17:21:00.000-08:00

...PRAY FOR ME!!!!!

Lets Imagine for a second...

2008-10-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

Something to think about if you have kids. If you don't have kids pretend you do.

Imagine your child had a headache or hurt himself at school and someone gave your child an aspirin without your consent.
Wouldn't you be upset?

Imagine someone took your child to a jewelry store and got their ears, or nose, or belly button or anything else pierced without your consent.
Wouldn't you be angry?

Imagine a tattoo artist gave your child a tattoo without your consent.
Wouldn't you be ticked?

Now imagine someone did a major surgical procedure on your child. A procedure that would leave them emotionally distraught, physically changed and possibly harmed.
Then how would you feel?

Everyday young girls get abortions without their parents knowing it. The abortions leave them feeling scared, depressed, hurt, and emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives. Some young women come out infertile, unable to ever have children. Even if a child does survive it may cause complications and defects. And while its not as common, there have been girls die from the after effects of an abortion gone bad. Please, this is my shameless political plug, Vote yes on 4.
Make it a requirement for parents to know if their daughters are getting an abortion.

Parents NEED to know their about their children's lives. Especially when it comes to a LIFE ALTERING event.

FREEDOM!!!

2008-10-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

I heard a story today on 107.9, the Calvary Chapel station where they air sermons. This is something to think about seriously.

Story goes, there was a certain young black slave during the time of the civil war. His hero was Abraham Lincoln, the man who he believed would set him free. If fact he revered Abraham Lincoln so much that his most treasured possession was a piece of paper that had Lincolns signature on it. He was so proud of it, and he kept in in his pocket.

He showed it to everyone. "Look at what I got here. I got the signature of President Abraham Lincoln," he would say.

One day he showed it to someone who, unlike him, could actually read. The man took one look at it and said "Oh my, do you know what you have here?"

"Well yeah it's Abraham Lincolns signature."

"Oh no, it's much more than that. This is a document with his signature authorizing your freedom!"

The young slave had his freedom in his hands the whole time, and yet, he continued to work as a slave.

So many Christians are like this, They live as slaves to sin, and the whole time they have had the document, signed with Christ's Blood, to set them free.

Think about it...

Count Your Blessing

2008-09-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

When life gets stressful and hectic I gotta take a step back and make a list of the people and things that God has put in my life to bless me every day. Those that God uses to make life worth living!

The Love of my Life, Jonny! He is so amazing and I know God has truly blessed me with him. He is always there when I need someone to cry to or talk to or just laugh with!
My Family - DAD who has been through the fire and come out stronger on the other side, ready to take on whatever life has to throw at him and be there for us for all the important stuff. MOM who constantly shows her love to me through little phone calls, or packages in the mail that remind me that people are thinking of me and love me. RACHEL, my best friend and the bestest sister ever! I love her and am so proud of her, and happy for her and everything that she has been blessed with. SAM for being a great younger "big" brother. He watches over me as if he was my big brother even though he's years younger. I am proud of the Man of God he has become. BEN, for being my guitar teacher, and still goofing around...even when we almost break the furniture in the living room as well as our necks (hehe). KATE, the cutes girl around. Even at two and a half years of age she already loves to talk to Auntie Manda on the phone. Se loves me and its great to feel love from a child! JEREMY, for being a great friend, and loving my sister and Kate. Take care of them! You'll be a great Brother-in-law! Welcome to the family!
My bestest friend, and sister at heart, Alicia! She keeps me sane when stuff gets hard and I need to vent. And when things aren't hard, she's just fun to joke around with and shop with and all that fun stuff!
My totally cool roomies! I love you girls! Its already been a great year, I look forward to more fun!
The rest of my friends at school that help to keep my spirits up and keep me company when I need it.
My education that is God centered and (though I hate to admit it) worth the stress, money and time I have spent and will continue to spend on it.
A job that gives me 24 hours a week...not too much, not too little. Just enough to pay for what I need, and still put some away for later.
A chance to live in a country where (for now at least) I have freedom to worship my Savior who has blessed me with so much
A choir of beautiful girls, my friends and sisters, who, together, make beautiful music to worship God and use that freedom that we are given.
My health...I have the strength to run from work to class, and class to work, and never have any rest...
The passion God has put in my heart to fulfill the calling He has given me.
The amazing opportunity to have shared Christ's love in countries such as Australia, Hong Kong, Rwanda and Russia, and the possibility of maybe someday bringing His love to more people and places.

I could keep going, but I feel better already. I really am blessed and should not whine so much.

Can I PLEASE just graduate and get it over with?!

2008-09-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

I'm really getting worn out...

I'm sick of teachers who think their class is the only thing you have to dedicate every waking hour to. Forget having a job and choir and all that other stuff. That class is all that matters...

I'm sick of getting stressed out in voice lessons when I'm not a music major! Much less a vocal major. Yes I sing first soprano, but I will never sing a solo that intense...

I'm sick of running from one class to the next then grabbing a quick to go meal before running back to class and then instantly to work...

I'm sick of eating alone on my work breaks, or being the third wheel when I don't need to be. I miss HIM so bad...

I'm tired and I'm just ready to finish and begin my life, post college. I know this is a learning time for me. I know being here in this place, at this time is good for me and it needs to happen. I know God has a plan for my life and that everything I am going through is for a reason. But its just getting hard and exhausting. I will be so relieved when I walk across that stage and receive my diploma (or rather that tube representing my diploma...lol).

just pray for strength and endurance to finish this year, so I come out on the other end stronger, more knowledgeable and ready to accomplish what God has called me to do.

Just a thought...

2008-09-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

We live in a world full of endings,

The end of a day
The end of a season
The end of a year
The end of an age
The end of a school year
The end of a program
The end of a movie
The end of a book
The end of a story
The end of a friendship
The end of a job
The end of a marriage
The end of a life

Everything comes to an end. Everything.
In a world full of things that end, its hard to fathom ETERNITY!

2008-09-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

So...why, on the second day of school, am I already tired, frustrated, and sick of school. I guess being a senior again has something to do with it, but I am basically ready to be done with my degree, walk across that stage, and start the rest of my life.

Please Pray

God is Hate???????

2008-08-15T20:49:00.001-07:00

There is a current happening that has distressed me. This is something that has struck a major chord in my heart and I need everyone to know my stance on it. I need to share my heart, which I also feel aligns with God’s heart. I know this is long, but if you have the time please read it, all of it, to understand where I stand on this issue

I am grieved, upset, distressed and heartbroken. I cannot believe the hatred that some people have in their hearts. And what’s worse, I cannot believe that they have the gall to claim the name of Christian. Those of you from Lake County are probably aware of the untimely death of PFC Ivan Wilson, and the current horrific events surrounding his death and funeral. Those of you who don’t know let me briefly explain. There is a Church called Westboro Baptist, who goes around the country picketing at military funerals, as well as other government events. They are hateful, spiteful, vindictive individuals. They will be at Ivan’s funeral picketing both him and the US Marines. They are against the US Government for being supportive of homosexuals, and they believe that Ivan is an evil person because he fought for a country that does not punish its homosexuals. Their Church website is www.godhatesfags.com, and they have other hateful websites such as www.godhatesamerica.com and www.godhatestheworld.com.

My heart is grieved because this is not God’s heart and should not be what is portrayed by those who call themselves Christians. The name Christian comes from the Greek christianos meaning follower of Christ. It is a diminutive form of Christ and it basically means “little Christ.” We as “Christians” should have the heart and mind of Christ. Or at least strive to have the closest thing we as weak humans can possibly have. Jesus Christ was not a hateful man. Jesus spent time with prostitutes and tax collectors. He lived among those who were full of sin and showed them God’s love. If Christ loved in this way then we as Christians having the same heart and mind as Him should also love in this way.

Some stuffy pious religious leaders once brought an adulterous woman to Jesus. In those times the punishment for adultery was for the adulterous woman to be stoned to death. Jesus reminded them that not one human being is without sin. He said to them, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” (story found in John 8:1-11) Naturally, not one could throw a stone. One by one they left her. When they had all gone He told her to go and sin no more. He spared her life despite the sinful actions she has done. Now does that sound like hate to you? In God’s eyes an adulterous person is the same as a homosexual. It is a sexual sin that God despises, but please understand he does not despise the individual committing the sin. Sin is sin. I cannot go on without making it clear that homosexuality is indeed a sin. (I Corinthians 6:9,10) But it is no reason for hating the person or the government who condones it. The homosexual next door is no worse than that man at church in the pew behind you who is having an emotional affair with the woman two pews over. If he goes to church, and claims Christianity, yet tells people that “God hates ‘fags’” than he is in the same exact sin as those that God supposedly hates. (Romans 2 gives some examples of this) And what’s more, sexual sin (whether heterosexual or homosexual) is no different than any other sin in general.

The two most common sins I see in Christians is gluttony and disobeying the authority of the government, such as speeding or taking shortcuts on their taxes. They are not outright sins so we think we are okay, but both are spoken against in the Bible. Verses speaking against gluttony can be found in Proverbs 23:1-3 and Philippians 3:19. In these verses God speaks against making a god of your stomach and putting emphasis on eating fine foods and lots of it. And submitting to authority is found in Romans 13:1-7 and 1 Peter 2:13-17.

One thing about 1 Peter 2:13-17, Peter is commanding the audience to obey and honor the Emperor of that day. The Emperor he is referring to was an evil crooked emperor, the leader of the persecution toward the Christians and against the teachings of Christ in every way. Yet the Christians were told to honor their Emperor and submit to his authority. So, Westboro’s hatred toward the US government (regardless of how crooked they think it is) is completely unbiblical. They should be honoring the government and their leaders rather than picketing the funerals of fallen soldiers. Their hatred toward the government and toward those defending the government is not from God and they are deceived to call themselves Christians.

My heart is broken because I am afraid that people who are not believers of God will come to believe that this is the face of God; That God is Hate. I am afraid that they will come to despise and fear Christians because the God they stand for is a hateful, spiteful God. On the contrary God is Love. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God, and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is Love” (I John 4:7,8). “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6). The term “steadfast love” comes from the Hebrew word Hesed, meaning “loyal love, unfailing kindness and devotion.” According to the Bible (God’s word, the book inspired and written by Him) God’s love is loyal and characterized by unfailing kindness.

“For God so loved the world, (meaning literally the whole world regardless of what others try to claim) that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:16,17) Would you send your only child into the midst of people that you hated? God was not happy with us. We had fallen so deep into sin that it grieved His heart. But he loved us so much and wanted us to be with him so deeply, that he sent His son, the only one who could save us, to live among us as one of us, to teach us the ways of His Father God, and then to die as a sacrifice for our sins. This was not an act of hatred. This was an act of intense love so we in return would love Him back. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). God’s message and Christ’s life reflect nothing but Love. It is simply un-Christ-like to hate “fags” or America, or the World. All through the Bible God’s love is portrayed through his mercy and forgiveness and the sending of his Beloved Son.

I must emphasis that I do not hate the Westboro church. That would just be fighting fire with fire. It would not solve anything. I pity them. It must be exhausting harboring so much hatred. To never truly know the freeing power of Christ’s love is a sad thing. And please know that in all of this I am not calling myself perfect. I have been known to strongly dislike certain people, even to the point of hatred, and I have had to ask forgiveness and strive to love even if it is forced love. And I have secret sins that only God knows, and have asked forgiveness for those as well. Please do not think I am saying any of this out of a self righteous or pious attitude. I am no better than anyone. I am a sinner forgiven by God’s grace and mercy. I need his love as much as anyone.

Love is God’s way, love is His message, and love is what He desires to show to those who do not know Him, in order that they may come to know Him. Please, I beg you, please do not think that the hatred shown by the Westboro “Baptist” Church is the norm for Christians. God is LOVE and that is what I hope to emphasize and leave as the final thought in your minds.

Im back!

2008-08-01T16:31:00.000-07:00

I've been back for about a week and a half now. I am just really bad at updating.

Russia was amazing! The City of St Petersburg is beautiful. It is so rich in history, and tradition. I loved learning about the culture and customs as I got to know the people. The people that we met were hospitable and kind. Our hostess and her husband were awesome people. We enjoyed getting to know them and hear about their ministry. Our translators were all so amazing. One of them, a girl our age, stayed with us in our hostel and literally became part of our team. She helped us so much as we learned to use the metro system (underground transport) and the bus system, buy things in the store, and communicate with those we had contact with. She was amazing and it was so great to learn about her life and how much she loves her Lord.

The greatest part was when we got to spend time with the children in the runaway center. This was our "assignment" but it felt more like a privilege. The runaway center was a place where the kids went as the limbo spot between going back to their families or being a an orphanage for the rest of their childhood. Its a hard place for them to be so it was so great to be able to be with them and show them some love.

Each day we learned more about the kids and became more and more attached to them. I love all of those kids so much! It was amazing to see how one little act of kindness can make such a difference. God really worked through us there.

On one of the last couple of days we made salvation bracelets with the kids and as a result six of the kids invited Christ into their lives! That was such a happy day for us. The enemy tried to spoil for us and caused a few problems, but in the end it turned out okay and God got the glory.

It was hard to say goodbye. There were tears...for many of us...but the experience and the chance to made them feel loved is something that will stay in out hearts for ever. I will never forget the kisses on my cheek, the little arms wrapped as tightly as they could around me, the broken, attempted English saying "I love you," and the small faces smiling as from ear to ear. I'll never forget the young teenage girls with nothing but boys, music and smoking on their minds, who gave their lives to Christ, and one who expressed wanting to quit smoking.

With each country I visit, and every life Christ touches through me, I realize what I am meant for. I know what I must do. And even if I never leave the United States again, I can still touch lives.

Thank you to everyone who prayed, loved me and financially supported me in this trip. Your support will be well used in Gods kingdom.

I'm out!

2008-07-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

Leaving for Russia in a few hours. Keep me and my team in prayer as we show God love to children who really need it. Thanks for your continued love and support.

Best Kept Secret?

2008-07-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

There's a Christian song, done by a popular Christian artist where the chorus says, "You're the best kept secret in my generation. The best kept secret of all time. You're the best kept secret in my generation, and I found you out." The secret they are talking about here is God. The artist that does it is irrelevant for this because my bone to pick is with the lyrics.

Why are we talking about God being a secret. If God is the BEST kept secret of this generation then we as Christians are not doing our job. God should not be a secret. He should be something we scream from the rooftops. And just by the way we live our lives His presence should be evident.

Just some food for thought.

FYI...

2008-06-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

I am soooooooo freeking in LOVE!!!!

thats all...

And another thing...

2008-06-17T13:04:00.001-07:00

The rainbow was a promise for the Almighty God to HIS people. He flooded the earth once because of sin. Sin had run so wide and people had forgotten about God and his law. So he flooded the earth and saved just four men and their wives, as well as two of each animal. After the flood was over and everyone got off of the ark God put the rainbow in the sky along with a promise to never again flood the earth because of the sin of man.

So who gave anyone permission to steal and pervert our promise from God. This whole thing is just frustrating me.

I know I sound horribly rude, but I don't know any other way to put it. It was a sign that belonged to the people of God first! Why must the world take what is sacred like the rainbow, and marriage and turn it into a perversion. Its sick and I'm ready to move out of this ridiculous country.

Not too happy...

2008-06-16T13:43:00.001-07:00

Gay Marriage is now legal in CA as of 5:01 this evening!! Is nothing sacred anymore! It was voted against. Democracy means nothing when a few judges can easily trump what we decide.

Please comment, discuss, i want to know what you think I want to debate. I just need to know others opinions so I can formulate my arguments.

All in all I just think it was a horribly rash decision and it completely unacceptable

Long time, no type.

2008-06-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

Well its been a while since I updated. I'm not so good at this. I get passionate about a topic and write a whole bunch about it...and then nothing for months, lol. Oh well.

Well I'm home from school for the summer. I have spent about three weeks here and I have a week left until I go back down south for a week. After that its Russia for three weeks!! I am so excited!

On another note I miss my man like crazy!! I am actually looking forward to school starting up just because it means that I will be with him consistently, rather than a few sporadic weeks out of a four month long summer. It's really difficult to be away from someone that you have become to accustomed to being with every day. I love him so much!

So yeah...life is different right now, but I can't complain.

Legacy

2008-03-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

The other day in Sunday School, we were talking about a life that leaves a legacy. It's something that sometimes crosses our minds but we never really think about it till someone brings it up in a conversation. Living a life that leaves a legacy does not necessarily mean having a position of influence, a lot of money, or a thriving ministry that has "touched" many lives.

Don shared a story about his daughter who has just recently died of cancer. They had her funeral in a church that holds at least 300 people. On the day of her funeral there was standing room only in the church. If given the chance, every person in that room could have shared a story about how she had, in some way, touched their life. She never had an official ministry. She never went to another country to spread the gospel. She simply loved people. She beamed with Christ's love and compassion. And in her last day of life there was never a sharp word or complaint out of her mouth. She simply kept loving and thanking God. Nurses came out of her room crying because of how moved they were by her attitude that never strayed from loving and worshiping.

What does your life give to others? When you are gone will people remember you as a radical religious, or a loving Christ follower? Not that gong overseas or running a ministry is a bad thing, but are you doing it with the right heart? Do you "love" others, or do you really love those you come into contact with? What will your legacy be?

Think about it...

HELP!

2008-03-06T13:24:00.000-08:00

My life as I know it is officially over come September! lol Yes my friends I have 17 units next semester! One is a running class at seven in the morning and one is a bowling class...but 15 units are solid Psych or Behavioral Science classes...I'm gonna die...I joked with my dad that instead of going to a graduation ceremony my family should just head right to the funeral home...haha...

No seriously though, If I make it through next semester it will be only by Gods grace and He will get ALL the glory for it. It'll all be worth it though to get outta here a semester before I thought I would.

PLEASE PRAY!!

When you dream...

2008-02-24T21:20:00.000-08:00

When you dream
do you dream in black and white, or in color?
When you dream
do you move slowly or is everything hectic and crazy?
When you dream
do you see his face and know in an instant he's the one?
When you dream
does everything else fade and only the dream remain?
When you dream
do you know its only pretend or do you feel like it really happens?
When you dream
is there good in the world or does evil prevail?
When you dream
does the dance last all night?
When you dream
do you wake up afraid or in love?
When you dream
can you change the course?
When you dream
do your dreams come true??

Please Forgive Me

2008-02-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is a song that I heard one of the small groups sing last year and It became one of my favorite songs. The lyrics really reflect my cry...I need forgiveness, I am an imperfect person, and The God of the universe gave everything for me to forgive the wrongs I have done against Him. That just blows my mind!

Please Forgive Me

For ev'ry time I've been unfaithful

For ev'ry time I've been untrue

For ev'ry time I've been ungrateful

For all You've done

And all You do

Please forgive me

For when my pride has been unbroken

For when my soul has been unmoved

For all the praise I left unspoken

When I owe ev'rything to You

Please forgive me

There is a fountain filled with blood

Where Your forgiveness ever flows

Come wash me in the healing flood

And I'll be white as snow (2x)

For when my heart has been unyielding

When my devotion went unproved

For all the days I've been unwilling

To take my cross and follow You

Please forgive me

There is a fountain filled with blood

Where Your forgiveness ever flows

Come wash me in the healing flood

And I'll be white as snow (2x)

For ev'ry time I've been unfaithful

For ev'ry time I've been untrue

For ev'ry time I've been ungrateful

For all You've done

And all You do

Please forgive me

Please

David Moffitt / Sue C. Smith / Travis Cottrell

A matter of Life and Death

2008-02-18T23:35:00.000-08:00

This was written last semester after a night of serious thought...

Friday night I was at work, and often times I will listen to KSGN on the radio while at work. At about 9pm a Focus on the Family program comes on. Friday night's program was Dr. Dobson sharing a decision of his. He expressed his firm decision to not vote for any presidential candidate who does not support the "Sanctity of Life." In so many words he will not vote for any individual who condones abortion. I have to say that he is onto something and I agree with him on this idea.

I know there will be many people who don't agree with this but please hear me out!

My entire life I have been taught that abortion is murder and I believe this to be true with every ounce of my being. I do not know one single solitary woman who is happy, relieved or proud of herself for having an abortion (and I know quite a few who have had one). In fact its quite the opposite...She is sad, depressed, angry with herself and regrets it with her whole life. How can something that hurts that bad possibly be good for anyone.

I find it highly ironic when I meet someone more concerned with saving a tree or a whale than saving a human life. It's honestly the most selfish form of birth control I've ever heard of.

Now please keep reading and let me explain myself, and my stance on this issue.

I know things happen…I know people make mistakes, and I can only begin to imagine the feelings and thoughts that must be running through a young girls mind when she discovers she is pregnant. My sister got pregnant young and it was a hard time for my family. We all cried, got out our feelings about it…and then began to make preparations for the new life that would soon enter our family…or who had already become a member of our family rather. Kate is the best thing to happen to our family in a very long time.

Here is where it gets tough. I know that not every young girl has a family that will support her as well as my family did with my sister. In fact I know some families will seriously hurt a girl for getting herself pregnant. Whether it be physically or emotionally…I know it occurs.

Here is where I want to come in. I decided about a year ago what I want to do with my psych degree…and after hearing Dr. Dobson on the radio and thinking long and hard about this issue I have a reignited passion. I want to become a Crisis Pregnancy Counselor. I want to be the safe haven for the girl who has nowhere else to go…for the one whose parents call her a "sinner" and throw her out on the streets…the one whose parents beat her, almost killing her and the life inside of her. I want so badly to be the open arms for her to run to…to hear that someone loves her. That God forgives her, and that no matter what she decides for the life depending on her that God and I will still love her through it.

I want to try to steer her away from abortion if at all possible. Give her options, tell her that there are other ways. But still, if in the end she chooses to end the life I want to be there to help her through the emotions and trauma that will inevitably haunt her afterward. No matter the choice she will need someone to take her in and show her Gods true love. Not the legalistic "tough love" from her pious parents.

Everyone who knows me must know my position in this matter. I am decidedly pro-life and will not vote for any candidate (regardless of party) who is pro-choice. But in the end I hate the action, not the individual who does it. She needs love more than anyone in that time.